All the Pretty Wrestlers

How have I never yet blogged about Justin Pierce?

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I mean, Christ on the cross, look up perfect in the dictionary and there he is.

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Those eyes! Those abs! Those legs! Those pecs! Those arms!

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That ass! Those pouty lips! He’s just, for want of a better superlative, fucking gorgeous.

I first discovered him on Fantasymen 22, a tape I’ve already discussed (I think) because I was enamored of the Sean Ribeiro/Antonio match, which opened the tape in the ring. The match that introduced me to Justin also included another wrestler who drove me wild with his looks and skills and attitude: Nick Archer.

 

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FUCK me.

(to be continued)

I Get Around

So, not only was I finally able to get into the ring–I also tossed Cole back in by his trunks.

Turnabout is fair play, after all.

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Heels can also get over-confident, particularly when the match has, frankly, been pretty fucking easy for them so far. Cole gave me an opening and I took it.

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And once I was in the ring, I was determined to not only get my own back, but to give him the ultimate humiliation of losing to someone he didn’t see as a credible threat.

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His gorgeous, perfectly defined abs made for an oh-so-inviting target, too.

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He didn’t seem to like me standing on them and flexing.

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As I listened to his groans as I put him through the wringer, I began to believe, you know? Believe that I could beat him, believe that I could be a BGEast star, believe that I, a rookie in my first match for the company, could take down one of their biggest and nastiest heels–something no one else had done so far.

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I also was learning that I liked being in control, punishing my opponent, and even humiliating him a bit.

I also learned about over-confidence.

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TO BE CONTINUED

Touch My Body

It took me a while–and a lot of pain–to finally make it into the ring with Cole Cassidy.

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He kept ambushing me–and beating on me–and not letting me get into the ring. I could get up to the ring apron, but once there–yeah.

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Did I mention he kept taunting me, too? Yeah, there I was, crumpled on the mat outside the ring, my back and abs aching, trying to catch my breath…and then over it all I can hear him sneering at me.

Sneering.

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Yeah, I took a lot of shit from him.

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But you see–there’s another lesson I learned early in pro wrestling: never go to the well too many times. Cole kept coming back out of the ring and after me…enjoying himself, obviously–and finally his overconfidence (and to be fair, who wouldn’t be overconfident at this point? It’s not like I’d even landed a fucking blow) was his undoing.

I got a great punch into his abs and doubled him over.

And it was time for some goddamned payback.

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to be continued

Body Rock

No, not intimidating in the least.

 

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The set up for the match was basically this: Cage, new wrestler in the BGEast Arena stable, wants to wrestle, and has challenged, Cole Cassidy, one of the nastiest heels ever to climb through the ropes for the BGEast cameras.

This is what the write-up on the website has to say:

Cage Thunder is one well-traveled wrestler. He’s faced some of the toughest men all over the world, but is always ready for more challenge. Of course, plenty of his hard-earned experience has come at the cost of some harsh punishment, but the masked star has never backed down from a challenge yet. Still, someone might want to offer Cage a little friendly advice before he bites of more than he can chew, if he hasn’t already. When Cage let slip he’d be willing to take on dom heel and destroyer of men Cole Cassidy, more than a few ears perked up, and at least one devious mind set the wheels of fate in motion.

When word reached Cole he had a potential challenger (victim) in the making, he just had one question: “Where is he hiding?” Cut to Cage Thunder’s daily gym workout at one of the rings he frequents: sans mask, pumping iron with thoughts of taking Cole Cassidy to the mats on his mind? When none other than Cole himself barges in, Cage is caught off guard to say the least. His hopes that the alpha male doesn’t recognize him, and just there for a workout, quickly dim as Cole’s attitude makes it clear he’s not here for a pump. The beast is a specimen of physical perfection as he slowly strips his street clothes away, down to a simple pair of briefs, revealing his marvelously muscled physique, every curve and ridge of muscular definition standing out in stark contrast, as though to impress anyone in the gym able to catch a glimpse.

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When Cage tries continue his routine, Cole humors him, sliding into a weight machine himself and working up a sweat as he pumps up his already impressive pecs, watching an increasingly nervous Cage from across the gym. When Cassidy has finally had enough of the game and gets in Cage’s face, the soon-to-be victim tries to rise to the challenge, only to have Cole bury his fist wrist-deep in Cage’s abs. Thunder finds himself slammed to the wall, gasping for breath before Cole’s fingers clench ’round his throat and force him upright. A few more fists and knees to the gut with Cage pinned to the wall and Cole finally lets him slump down, choking and panting. “I thought you wanted to wrestle Cole Cassidy?” He mocks his already downed and exposed challenger.

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And yes, for an aspiring pro wrestler, there’s nothing quite so humiliating as getting your ass kicked completely before you even get in the ring.

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Choked, stomped, slammed, punched and beaten before I even got in the ring!

And it was beginning to look like I was never going to even get in Cole’s ring….

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to be continued….

Ole King Cole

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When I first started doing pro wrestling, I was told, “look at every match as a learning experience.  The only way to get better is to learn.”

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So, what did I learn from wrestling Cole Cassidy?

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I learned that he knew a variety of ways to bend my body into insanely twisted shapes, for one.

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I also learned that an expert heel always has a reserve left in the tank–no matter what you’ve done to them, no matter how much pain you’ve put them in, no matter if you’ve wrung some submissions out of them–you pretty much have to knock them out to claim the win, because they’ll always, like Jason or Michael Meyers, rise from the dead even more energized than before.

They feed off being punished.

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And despite what you might read on the website’s write-up of this match, I wasn’t a complete practicing dummy for Mr. Cassidy. I got some licks in.

TO BE CONTINUED

Small Packages

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So, before I get back to talking about my match with Cole Cassidy, let’s spend some time appreciating him, shall we?

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Despite the way his charisma and personality make him seem larger than life on camera–and in pictures–he’s shorter than I am: 5’8 and weighs 166 pounds. Despite the small stature, let me assure you in all my years as a fan, I never noticed his size.

He always loomed large to me.

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Maybe it’s the viciousness? Or did giving up size to his opponents turn him vicious? Some mysteries will never be solved.

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I am sure no small part of his presence has to do with the extraordinary vascularity of his impressive musculature. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone before (outside of bodybuilding competitions) with such exceptional size and defined so perfectly. Look at the veins roadmapping his quads, his lower abs, arms and shoulders.

Fuck me.

I would literally have to work out every day and exist solely on protein shakes for a year to get that cut and vascular.

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The sunglasses are a nice touch, and even when he smiles…you never completely relax…

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Plus, he does the evil cowboy look perfectly, and that’s a button for me.

He often surrenders size to his opponents–Mitch Colby, Powergunz, Alexi Adamov and Drew Russell all come to mind, out of the scores of people he’s beaten the shit out of for BGEast–but the advantage you’d think this would give his opponents is negligible.

He can cut an opponent down to size pretty fucking fast.

As I said, before I met and got into the ring with him, he was kind of an idol of mine. He still is–I still enjoy watching him cut some arrogant muscleboy off at the knees and making them whimper and plead for mercy–and after wrestling him, I admired him even more.

TO BE CONTINUED

Both Sides Now

So, what I think is my last match ever taped for BGEast is now out there for purchase, streaming or however you watch your BGEast videos.

And yes, it’s my second appearance in the Jobberpaloozer series, and I am wrestling this guy:

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Yup, none other than Cole Cassidy.

Christ, look at that body. I mean….look at it.

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In an interesting aside, the last match of mine to be released was actually the first one I ever taped.

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Not in my best shape I was ever in for the cameras–I’d been on a grueling book/speaking tour that started in January of that year and didn’t end until BEA in New York in June–but I was doing my best to hit the gym when I was at home and trying to eat right, but trying to eat healthy when you’re on the road isn’t always easy.

But I was very excited to shoot a match for BGEast, and I was even more excited to be scheduled to wrestle one of my idols, Cole Cassidy. I blogged about him sometime recently; but I became a fan when I first saw him in the ring against Tarzan Tyler Reese. So, when the Boss asked me who I wanted to get into the ring with, Cole was at the top of my list.

Dreams can come true.

But this could also be filed under be careful what you wish for…

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Intimidating, no?

I could be wrong, but I think I may be the only wrestler who’s appeared in the Jobberpaloozer series as both heel and jobber.

Which is saying something–what that might be I am not quite sure, honestly.

TO BE CONTINUED

Mr. Big Stuff

Making Austin Cooper, with his thick, defined muscles and twinkling eyes and terrific smile, look small is not an easy thing to do.

And yet…Cybertron accomplishes this feat with aplomb.

I mean….

One of the most interesting things I’ve discovered over the years is how difficult it is to gauge size with wrestlers, and that is really a credit to the wrestlers themselves first, and to the videography staff at BGEast. Guys who seem to be huge on camera will turn out to be much smaller than I imagined…which is a testament to charisma and star power, really; appearing larger than life when they go in front of the cameras. I’ve always had this sense that Austin is tall and big–because, in still photos, action shots, and on camera, he fills the frame so you can’t take your eyes off him. Based on the first impression I had of him–the match with Jake Jenkins I talked about in an earlier post–I figured Jake was probably around 5’9 and weighed about 180, with Austin a few inches taller at six foot and probably, give or take, 200 pounds. But according to the website, Austin is a mere 5’9, which probably puts Jake a little shorter.

It’s weird to think I’m taller than Austin.

Anyway, this Hunkbash 20 battle between these two beautifully constructed specimens lived up to all my expectations.

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For an all out squash (or hunkbash, if  you will) to be entertaining, you need two things: a heel who is good at what he does, and a jobber who is gorgeous and suffers beautifully. It is very easy for these types of matches to become a yawn fest very quickly. There are only so many holds and moves and variations, after all; an unskilled heel will inevitably just start repeating the same moves and holds over and over; a jobber who can’t sell or thinks he’s pretty enough to just lay there and take it without putting any effort into it will spoil a match pretty fucking fast.

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But this is not one of those matches; Cooper can pretty much do anything in front of the cameras–I’ve seen him heel with the same flair with which he jobs, and he is as adept in the ring as he is on the mats or in the gazebo or pretty much anywhere he’s put.

And the superb physique doesn’t hurt, nor does the expressive face.

And matching him up with a brutal ringmaster like Cybertron was just simply genius. Cybertron’s hulking size (“you ARE the Brute Squad!”) is, as I’ve said, is impressive enough, and again, big strong hulking heels can depend on their size and a few holds and moves to dominate smaller opponents while putting the viewer to sleep.

Not Cybertron.

He relishes beating the shit out of Austin–that’s very clear very early–and he is incredibly skilled. The holds and moves he uses on Austin are all familiar to the pro wrestling aficionado; but he alters them slightly to make them new and even more painful–a tweak here, a twist there–and this creativity only serves to make this match a classic.

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The creative use of the ropes in this match is awe-inspiring.

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And they both sweat buckets.

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Highly recommended. I’ll be revisiting this match a lot.

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I’m partial to masked wrestlers, obviously.

Take Cybertron, for example.

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Seriously, just beat me, fuck me up, strip me out of my trunks, stuff them in my mouth and just have your fucking way with me already, Daddy.

And seriously, congratulations on the fucking body, Daddy. This is what he looked like when he first appeared for BGEast, on Masked Mayhem 2 (which was also my BGEast debut) ,ten years or so ago:

 

I mean, nothing wrong with him back then–that ass, for God’s sake–but it’s amazing what about eight or nine years of hard work in the gym will do.

When he reappeared recently in Masked Destroyers 1, I literally did a double take.

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My jaw my have dropped and my tongue might have come out of my mouth a little bit.

I mean JFC.

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So, yeah. Gulp.

And then imagining what this vicious hunk of nasty muscle would do to baby-faced Austin Cooper?

Oh yeah, baby. Come to daddy.

(to be continued)

The Beat Goes On

So, here we have it in Hunkbash 20: bountifully built Braden Charron taking on lean muscle stud Carter Alexander.

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And let’s face it, as the website copy says, “If Braden is in a Hunkbash, that usually means it’s a Bradenbash.”

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After some stretching and posing and the usual pre-match banter, the two studs get down to action. And sure enough, as predicted, sexy Carter is soon arrogantly bashing Braden, despite surrendering a weight advantage to the little fireplug of a muscle boy.

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And wisely, Carter recognizes the strategy of weakening your opponent’s legs–if their legs are battered and they can’t really stand without a wobble and limp, they’re going to be ever so much more vulnerable. And Carter is relentless. He goes after Braden’s knee, again and again, as Braden’s wails of agony fill the arena area.

Finally, hoping for a brief respite from the punishment, Braden cries out a desperate submission.

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Yep, a Bradenbash is what we are in for.

And to be fair, I do love seeing Braden and his muscles suffering.

(to be continued)