Mr. Big Stuff

Making Austin Cooper, with his thick, defined muscles and twinkling eyes and terrific smile, look small is not an easy thing to do.

And yet…Cybertron accomplishes this feat with aplomb.

I mean….

One of the most interesting things I’ve discovered over the years is how difficult it is to gauge size with wrestlers, and that is really a credit to the wrestlers themselves first, and to the videography staff at BGEast. Guys who seem to be huge on camera will turn out to be much smaller than I imagined…which is a testament to charisma and star power, really; appearing larger than life when they go in front of the cameras. I’ve always had this sense that Austin is tall and big–because, in still photos, action shots, and on camera, he fills the frame so you can’t take your eyes off him. Based on the first impression I had of him–the match with Jake Jenkins I talked about in an earlier post–I figured Jake was probably around 5’9 and weighed about 180, with Austin a few inches taller at six foot and probably, give or take, 200 pounds. But according to the website, Austin is a mere 5’9, which probably puts Jake a little shorter.

It’s weird to think I’m taller than Austin.

Anyway, this Hunkbash 20 battle between these two beautifully constructed specimens lived up to all my expectations.

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For an all out squash (or hunkbash, if  you will) to be entertaining, you need two things: a heel who is good at what he does, and a jobber who is gorgeous and suffers beautifully. It is very easy for these types of matches to become a yawn fest very quickly. There are only so many holds and moves and variations, after all; an unskilled heel will inevitably just start repeating the same moves and holds over and over; a jobber who can’t sell or thinks he’s pretty enough to just lay there and take it without putting any effort into it will spoil a match pretty fucking fast.

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But this is not one of those matches; Cooper can pretty much do anything in front of the cameras–I’ve seen him heel with the same flair with which he jobs, and he is as adept in the ring as he is on the mats or in the gazebo or pretty much anywhere he’s put.

And the superb physique doesn’t hurt, nor does the expressive face.

And matching him up with a brutal ringmaster like Cybertron was just simply genius. Cybertron’s hulking size (“you ARE the Brute Squad!”) is, as I’ve said, is impressive enough, and again, big strong hulking heels can depend on their size and a few holds and moves to dominate smaller opponents while putting the viewer to sleep.

Not Cybertron.

He relishes beating the shit out of Austin–that’s very clear very early–and he is incredibly skilled. The holds and moves he uses on Austin are all familiar to the pro wrestling aficionado; but he alters them slightly to make them new and even more painful–a tweak here, a twist there–and this creativity only serves to make this match a classic.

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The creative use of the ropes in this match is awe-inspiring.

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And they both sweat buckets.

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Highly recommended. I’ll be revisiting this match a lot.

Automatic

I’m partial to masked wrestlers, obviously.

Take Cybertron, for example.

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Seriously, just beat me, fuck me up, strip me out of my trunks, stuff them in my mouth and just have your fucking way with me already, Daddy.

And seriously, congratulations on the fucking body, Daddy. This is what he looked like when he first appeared for BGEast, on Masked Mayhem 2 (which was also my BGEast debut) ,ten years or so ago:

 

I mean, nothing wrong with him back then–that ass, for God’s sake–but it’s amazing what about eight or nine years of hard work in the gym will do.

When he reappeared recently in Masked Destroyers 1, I literally did a double take.

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My jaw my have dropped and my tongue might have come out of my mouth a little bit.

I mean JFC.

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So, yeah. Gulp.

And then imagining what this vicious hunk of nasty muscle would do to baby-faced Austin Cooper?

Oh yeah, baby. Come to daddy.

(to be continued)

Austin City Limits

Let’s talk about Austin Cooper for a minute, shall we?

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I’ve been a fan since I first saw him take on Jake Jenkins (another tasty morsel) in Ripped Rookies 1: A Score to Settle. It was an impressive debut for both; a mat match with both starting in singlets before stripping down to much more provocative gear, and not only were they both lovely to look at, they were also pretty damned skilled. I was immediately impressed with both wrestlers, and looked forward to seeing more of each.

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Both of them also sweated quite profusely, and I have mentioned before how sweaty muscles are a big button push for me.

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Austin was at home in any wrestling scenario; I never got the slightest impression, whether it was mats, the gazebo, or the ring, that he wasn’t in his element. He can also heel or job with equally aplomb; that handsome face and beautiful body not only can suffer beautifully, but can sell the dominant heel role just as easily.

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He also looks good in everything–whether its pro-style trunks, singlets, underwear, leg tights, you name it; he can pull it off–and while he’s shown us bare cheeks before, whether in thongs or jocks, he’s never gone full frontal. I don’t mind; while I do appreciate the guys who are willing to do so, I also appreciate those who like to leave things mysterious.

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And even when facing bodies as perfect as, say, those of Kid Karisma or Patrick Donovan or Z-Man, Austin doesn’t fade into the background or not match up properly; those matches are so stunningly hot to watch it’s a wonder the cameras didn’t short circuit.

So, the part of me that enjoys watching Austin suffer was pretty excited to hear he was going to climb in the ring with Cybertron for Hunkbash 20.

(to be continued)